Jillian Aurora
Jun 24, 20202 min
Updated: Dec 21, 2021
“I gave it ALL and now he’s gone.”
“I was there through his alcoholism, his anxiety, and his anger problems.”
“I was loyal even when he betrayed me.”
“I SUFFERED and still chose to stick it out.”
“I kept us afloat when he was checked out.”
AND THIS IS HOW I GET REPAID??
My Love, if this is you, we need to have a chat.
This used to be me too. 1000%.
I was looking for a man to CHOOSE ME BECAUSE I HAD EARNED IT. Goddess, this is NOT love. This is a transaction. Love is not something you earn. It’s not something a man can give you when you don’t even give it to yourself.
You hate that he isn’t loyal to you, but YOU aren’t loyal to you.
You hate that he doesn’t care about your needs, but YOU don’t care about your needs.
You hate that he doesn’t respect you, but YOU don’t respect you.
You hate that he doesn’t make you a priority, but YOU don’t make you a priority.
You hate that he betrays you, but YOU betray you.
When this was me, my behavior and choices all revolved around my inability to see my worth. I thought just ME - authentic ME - wasn’t good enough. I thought I had to work REALLY HARD to be LOVEABLE. So, I SUFFERED. I SACRIFICED. I ENDURED without any appreciation. And, it wasn’t enough. Not even close. The harder I worked, the less love I felt. Because love ISN’T EARNED.
When I started loving me the way I wanted everyone else to, my world changed.
I stopped desperately looking for love from a person outside myself. I stopped trying to get someone outside of me to validate my worth. I stopped being willing to negotiate my value.
Instead of being the “nice girl” searching for evidence she was good enough, I awakened my Goddess, who never had to earn shit. SHE was ROYALTY. SHE had her OWN back. SHE knew her WORTH and gave NO time to entertain people who didn’t see it.
And, guess what?
When I started loving me, when I was loyal to me, when I stopped betraying me, I was capable of RECEIVING love. When I stopped trying to EARN it, it was EVERYWHERE.
Magic, Goddess. It’s magic. And it’s all inside of you. Are you ready to unlock it?