Does your cage get shaken when plans don’t go your way? Maybe it was Christmas dinner that was ruined by a cancelled flight, or perhaps date night was not quite so perfect because your partner was really late. Your make-up was smudged and the dinner was cold. It was just not what you had in mind…
The unexpected and disappointing happens in life and unfortunately it happens fairly often. So what do you have the power to do to avoid the frustration that inevitably follows?
1. Identify your expectations
There is no room for disappointment if you do not start off with an expectation. Often, we don’t realize the expectations we create as we plan an event, get into a relationship, or even take our next step. If we are able to let go of our attachment to the outcome of a situation, we are then capable of truly enjoying the natural flow of whatever unfolds. Life becomes an exciting experience when we accept the fact that anything can happen.
2. Let go of fantasies
Do you have an image that comes to mind when you think of the perfect mother-daughter relationship, the perfect marriage, or the perfect friendship? Often these fantasies get us into trouble. If you envision a good mother should be nurturing and gentle but in actuality your mother is outspoken and intense, you hold her up to a fantasy she has no chance of ever achieving. In this way, distance and resentment form and relationships suffer. Fantasies rob us of being capable of appreciating our loved ones for who they actually are. Take a good look at your relationships and find the gratitude in real life qualities instead of the way you wish they would look.
3. Take the rose colored glasses off
Sometimes we wish so badly that a situation will change that we ignore what’s actually happening. We get so attached to a certain outcome we try to force our will into reality. This might mean we continue to put ourselves into disappointing relationship situations where we are not treated well. Or, maybe we continue to make an event happen when no one else seems interested. The acceptance of reality is powerful. If a relationship or situation seems particularly disappointing and painful, perhaps it’s time to listen to the messages life is sending. This is where we have the choice to trade up the good for great, as scary and disappointing as that may feel.
4. Set your intentions, then let go
Acceptance of reality doesn’t mean not having any opinions or feelings; it is simply choosing to be adaptable when life demands it. Dream. Plan. Set some big intentions. Send them out to the universe, then allow them to take shape however they do. I promise they will never turn out the way you think they will – but they are always better if you choose to flow with it! Misery is an option and I think misery is often caused by our inability to let go of the way we perceive how a situation should look. Just flow.
Jillian Landis is a Self-Care and Worthiness Coach at Evolve Personal Coaching, blogger, and writer for Nourish + Bloom. Jillian's passion is encouraging big hearted individuals to extend a little of their love to themselves, so they may serve this world at their greatest potential. Prior to coaching, Jillian served in the mental health profession for 10 years and has a vast knowledge of human behavior, which she utilizes to create effective change in the lives of her clients.