Updated: Nov 9, 2020
"You don’t have any real friends.”
“You think anyone will take your recovery friends seriously? Everyone knows they’re fucking crazy.”
“Make sure you don’t tell anyone you see an energy healer. It will destroy your reputation.”
“I researched her. She’s a scam.”
“Coaches/mentors can’t be trusted. They prey on gullible people.”
“You only have a sponsor (mentor) because you can’t think for yourself.”
“She’s a skanky bitch. Sorry excuse of a friend.”
“Only the weak minded need that bullshit self-development stuff.”
“You think anybody would actually be there for you?”
“You’ve got nobody.”
It’s a strategy that works.
It’s a mind game, attempting to convince you you are alone. Unworthy.
It’s a systematic demolition of your intelligence and discernment.
It’s the intentional planting of seeds of your self-doubt.
It’s the desire to single you out as too broken to make your own decisions.
It’s the planned stripping away of your allies and their credibility.
And, when you are backed into that corner, you ARE alone. Simply because you believe you are.
When I was in the middle of this battle, I kept fighting. I kept seeing those friends, mentors, and coaches. I kept their voices alive, no matter how viciously their names were demeaned.
In the end, it was not self-doubt that won. I got to make the choice to turn UP the dial on the voices I wanted to get louder and turn DOWN the dial on the voices I wanted to diminish.
I continued to seek out recovery.
I continued to seek out mentors.
I continued to surround myself with strong women.
I continued to surround myself with healthy men.
I continued to choose to pay coaches.
I continued to read and learn and grow.
You, Goddess, will come to a crossroad. You will get to make the same choice. Will you allow the poison to sink into your soul? What voices will you choose to amplify?
You can’t ride this fence forever.
He will eventually convince you you can’t trust yourself. He will eventually convince you you are alone. He will eventually convince you you are dependent on him for EVERYTHING.
I was made to walk you through this journey. I was MADE to remind you of the fucking GODDESS you are. I was made to AWAKEN your warrior. But it’s not a halfway kind of thing.