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Let's Talk About Loyalty

Updated: Dec 13, 2021

We traditionally see loyalty as a good thing. It’s one of the most POWERFUL values of the “good girl” identity.

“I am GOOD because I am LOYAL.”

I wholeheartedly challenge this principle.


The problem is not loyalty itself but rather WHAT or WHO we are loyal to. The destruction happens when we give our loyalty away UNCONDITIONALLY, without requiring ANYTHING for it. Genocides happen because citizens are loyal to their government, without question.

  • People cover up sexual trauma because they are loyal to their family.

  • Women stay with partners who disrespect and mistreat them because they are loyal.

  • Police side with a fellow officer who commits crimes because they are loyal.

  • Church members condemn entire segments of the population because they are loyal.

  • Political parties justify inequalities and atrocities because they are loyal to their party.

  • Family members contribute to a loved one’s death by enabling their addictions because they are loyal.

  • Religious members keep dark clergy secrets because they are loyal.

  • Professionals cover up in-house “mishaps” because they are loyal.

  • People cover up sexual crimes, hateful speech/ideas, and prejudices, because of gender or ethnic loyalties.

  • Women DIE because they are loyal to abusive spouses.

Loyalty, in and of itself is NOT GOOD.

We get to choose, intentionally, where we place our loyalty. All of the above examples show a loyalty to someone, while simultaneously betraying SELF and values.

Loyalty is a POWERFUL human asset. It is meant to empower us to be TRUE TO OURSELVES and to OUR VALUES.

Has loyalty programming mastered you, or have you mastered loyalty?

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