Updated: Dec 14, 2021
“If I just ‘manifest better’ my relationship will improve.”
“People around me are abusive because they are a reflection of my inner work.”
“If I am full of compassion and empathy and light, those around me will be kind.”
“The Divine has placed me in an abusive relationship so that I can use it to master love.”
No, no, NO.
Although these statements used to be sources of justification for me, today they ring ALL my internal discernment bells.
These were all fucked up tactics of victim blaming I used against myself. Tactics that kept me stuck. Tactics that kept me striving to be “better” and never “good enough”.
And the reality was I really WASN’T ever good enough at “manifesting” someone else’s behavior. Because that was NEVER my goddamn business.
The truth is, you cannot be SPIRITUAL enough to make someone kind.
The truth is, you cannot be COMPASSIONATE enough to make someone care about you.
The truth is, you cannot be LOVING enough to make someone honor you.
The truth is, you cannot be PEACEFUL enough to make someone’s anger dissipate.
The truth is, you cannot be RESPECTFUL enough to make someone be respectful of you.
YOU CANNOT LOVE SOMEONE ENOUGH TO CHANGE THEM HOW YOU WANT THEM.
You cannot “manifest” the actions you want someone else to take.
Because only THEY get to choose their path. Because only THEY get to manifest their life.
Because how are we so arrogant to think we know best about someone else’s life?
We get to stop assuming responsibility for things that are NOT OURS.
We get to begin loving and accepting people HONESTLY, for the people they SHOW us they are.
We get to take FULL OWNERSHIP of OUR OWN behavior and life choices.
We get to be ACCOUNTABLE for setting boundaries consistent with people’s true colors.
We get to acknowledge the relationships we have MANIFESTED in order to practice SELF love and SELF loyalty.
Where are you keeping yourself stuck in dishonoring relationships and telling yourself it’s for your benefit? Where are you telling yourself your own abuse is your own fault? Where are you continuing to believe if YOU could just be BETTER, people would treat you better?