The Illusion of Transactional Love

Updated: Dec 31

"He’s my world.” “She is my everything.” “It is my job to make my husband happy.” “I’m the only person who can make her feel truly loved.” “He’s the only person who can truly understand me.” “She completes me.” From a young age, we get the message loud and clear - true love is two people, fully reliant on each other. We develop the belief that someday we will meet the one person in the world, who will fulfill our desires and meet all of our needs. And then, we experience the greatest let down… There is not a person in the world capable of creating happiness and fulfillment FOR us. There is not a person in the world who can meet all of our needs. THERE IS NOT A PERSON IN THE WORLD WHO CAN TAKE AWAY OUR OWN RESPONSIBILITY FOR CREATING OUR OWN HAPPINESS AND FULFILLMENT. Some of us continue to beat our heads against the wall, hoping, praying, and completely unwilling to accept no one is going to be able to be “that magical person”. We keep frantically searching, growing impatient and frustrated with the flawed partners who never seem to match our deeply rooted childhood fantasies. We throw ourselves into relationships, doing our best to meet our partner’s every need. We bend over backward