Call out SUPPRESSION for what it is.

Updated: Dec 31

"Stop shaming me.” “It’s too triggering for me to talk about.” “I’ll end up drinking if you talk to me about that.” “Stop focusing on the past - let’s just move on.” “I can’t change what I did. There’s no point in talking about it.” “Talking about it will only cause me pain.” “I don’t even remember what I did. It’s best if it stays that way.” I remember when these words were spoken to me. I remember having a mix of guilt for needing my feelings acknowledged and rage for such selfish disregard for the pain I had endured at his mercy. And for a long time, I felt incredibly alone. Expected to brush all the betrayal, abuse, and cruelty under the rug, I did my best to carry on. I tried to make everything the way it once was. I tried to force our love to go back to normal. But try as I might, I just couldn’t. I felt numb. I felt suppressed. Everything felt fake. My ability to trust was in shambles and there was no recognition