The Illusion of Easy Exits

Updated: Dec 7, 2021

“There’s always a time to easily exit a relationship. It’s during those bad times that define a true power couple.”




I read this comment a few days ago in a women’s group. It was a comment I would have praised and nodded in self-righteous agreement a few years ago.




But today, I identify this ideology as deeply troubling and damaging.




At one point, I lived and breathed this value. I was the “loyal woman” who stuck it out, no matter what. When the going got tough, I dug in harder. When he was absent, I showed up for the both of us. When he wasn’t loyal, I overlooked. When his actions were damaging and hurtful, I forgave and “took the high road”.




Because I was a “GOOD” wife, damn it.


Because I wasn’t going to take the “EASY” way out.


Because I wasn’t a “QUITTER”, like the OTHER women.




So, I continued subjecting myself to complete disrespect and chaos, in my self-righteous loyalty.




The reality was there WERE NO “EASY EXITS”. And I missed every single ONE. Every opportunity to show up for myself. To honor my standards and values. To be true to ME. NONE of them were EASY.