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The Illusion of Easy Exits

Updated: Dec 6, 2021

“There’s always a time to easily exit a relationship. It’s during those bad times that define a true power couple.”

I read this comment a few days ago in a women’s group. It was a comment I would have praised and nodded in self-righteous agreement a few years ago.

But today, I identify this ideology as deeply troubling and damaging.

At one point, I lived and breathed this value. I was the “loyal woman” who stuck it out, no matter what. When the going got tough, I dug in harder. When he was absent, I showed up for the both of us. When he wasn’t loyal, I overlooked. When his actions were damaging and hurtful, I forgave and “took the high road”.

Because I was a “GOOD” wife, damn it.

Because I wasn’t going to take the “EASY” way out.

Because I wasn’t a “QUITTER”, like the OTHER women.

So, I continued subjecting myself to complete disrespect and chaos, in my self-righteous loyalty.

The reality was there WERE NO “EASY EXITS”. And I missed every single ONE. Every opportunity to show up for myself. To honor my standards and values. To be true to ME. NONE of them were EASY.

No. What was EASY was to BETRAY MYSELF. Over and over.

And I did.

For years and years.

I betrayed myself and was PROUD of it.

We do not have a lack of loyal, tenacious, resilient, tough, patient, enduring women, who stay despite incredibly hostile and suffocating environments.

We have a lack of women who feel worthy of their own protection, love, high standards, desires, and happiness.

Stop shaming women for taking the “easy exits”. Because they aren’t easy. They are courageous and brave. They are terrifying. They take grit carved out from the very depth of her soul. And they are often NEVER taken because of the judgment she knows she will endure for “quitting”.

That women who “QUIT” is a fucking WARRIOR. She’s a Goddess who dared to face a world of judgment in order to the RIGHT thing, rooted in her self-respect and self-worth.

And that’s something to be celebrated. ;-)

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