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We All Need a Little Grace in Order to Grow

Updated: Dec 6, 2021

It’s become really “cool” and acceptable to self-righteously condemn those that don’t agree with us. It’s never been easier to justify. It’s never been easier to write another human off as “disgusting”. “Stupid”. “Wrong”. “Bad”.

We can disagree over pizza toppings, but not over human rights.

We can disagree over music genres, but not religions.

We can disagree over clothing styles, but not politics.

We can disagree over favorite colors, but not gender identity.

We can disagree over how to hang the toilet paper, but not race.

We can disagree over soda brands, but not over gender inequality.

Because we’ve all drawn our lines in the sand and turned our ears off.

Because we are “right”.

Because “they” are all stupid. Ignorant. Selfish. Disgusting. Backwards. Brainwashed.


I’m SO goddamn grateful people didn’t condemn me with disgust when I was a judgmental bigot. When I believed homosexuality was a sin. When I thought rock music was demonic. When I looked down on people who didn’t follow the “Christian way”. When I thought all Muslims were terrorists and agreed that we should just bomb them all (genocide). When I had no empathy for those who struggled with addictions. When I judged those who were homeless but didn’t care to contribute any solutions. When I cared more about getting approval from those I loved than actually examining the beliefs they held.

Because my belief system evolved and improved over YEARS. Because waking up is a PROCESS not an EVENT.

And I guarantee… I’M NOT DONE.

But I am worried to observe how little conflict resilience I see now. I NEEDED friends who didn’t shun me for my programming and backwards thinking. I NEEDED friends who still loved me, DESPITE the depth of my ignorance. I NEEDED friends who saw THROUGH my conditioning and saw ME. I NEEDED people who DISAGREED with me and had the patience to argue without malice and name calling and defensiveness.

I needed beautiful, curious, non-judgmental CONVERSATION.

Because friends, look at history. When the conversations cease, violence takes its place.

We cannot afford to shut each other out. We cannot afford to condemn each other. We cannot afford to make “them” less than human.

Curious conversation and negotiation takes LOADS more creativity and effort and patience than violence does. It takes skill and patience. Will we rise to the occasion?

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