I stopped hanging out with polite, nice women, who were concerned about their image and reputation.
I stopped hanging out with people who were a bitch to others’ opinions of them.
Because I became aware of what it was COSTING ME.
If people are walking around, constantly concerned about what people think and twisting themselves into a pretzel in order to accommodate everyone else’s expectations, they can’t help but throw that poison at me.
“But what will people think if you say that?”
“Aren’t you afraid of people thinking you are selfish?”
“Aren’t you afraid of losing business?”
“What if people get the wrong idea about you?”
“What if you offend someone?”
“But don’t you think that’s private?”
“Should you be a better role model?”
“Why would you want to make waves?”
“Aren’t you concerned it won’t work out?”
“But couldn’t you just wait a little while and see if your mind changes?”
Those seeds of doubt are not insignificant. They are EXPENSIVE.
I don’t admire a good reputation and image today. I’ve learned there are lots of secrets and shadows behind a good image. I admire COURAGE and HONESTY.
So today, I surround myself with women who FEED MY FIRE. They feed my courage to DO the right thing, even when others won’t like it. They feed my courage to SAY the right thing, even when others will be appalled. They cheer for me when I am authentic and honest. They don’t shy away from discomfort. They feed my courage because THEY ARE COURAGEOUS TOO.
I’ve chosen a path that is already HARD. Being AUTHENTIC and TRUTHFUL means facing rejection, ridicule, and criticism. Allowing people in my space who further create doubt will only serve to sabotage my values. I invite in FUEL not RESISTANCE.
If you find yourself surrounded by people who prioritize image and perception highly, what is it costing you?
Are you surrounding yourself with people who feed your self doubt, or feed your courage? How could you raise the bar for those you allow in your space?