Updated: Nov 11, 2020
“I can’t FAIL at this marriage.”
“I will feel so worthless if my relationship ends.”
“A good person does what it takes to make a marriage work.”
“If I just try a little harder, I can make it work.”
“If I just show him I love him better, we can get through this.”
Love, a relationship isn’t about surviving it.
A marriage isn’t about forcing it to work.
Your worth CERTAINLY doesn’t have ANYTHING to do with the success of your marriage.
Unfortunately, we have learned to prioritize the relationship AT ALL COSTS.
Even our own emotional health.
Even our own physical health.
Even our passions and desires.
Even our own dreams and goals.
Even our own LIFE CALLING.
AND WE HAVE LOST FOCUS OF WHAT THE HELL THE PURPOSE OF A RELATIONSHIP IS.
A relationship is meant to ENHANCE both individuals. To EMPOWER them to reach their potential. To SUPPORT them in pursuing their dreams. To MOTIVATE them to EMBODY THEIR CALLING.
A relationship is a UNION meant to BENEFIT both INDIVIDUALS.
Yet, we have been living as if it is the other way around. As if the purpose of the individuals is to serve and enhance the relationship. Even when the relationship is destroying both individuals.
We have told ourselves we are a FAILURE if we don’t make our relationship work, so we stay, no matter how miserable and unhealthy we are. No matter how miserable our partner is. No matter how much disrespect and dishonor is present. No matter how suffocating it is.
But we dismiss how we are FAILING OURSELVES for the sake of a toxic and unfulfilling relationship. The true tragedy is not the ending of a marriage or relationship but a lifetime of self betrayal, ultimately robbing the world of the massive light and radiance that could have been.
Love, not only is your unconditional commitment to your relationship harming YOU, it is harming your partner. And, IT IS NOT LOVING.
It is ok to acknowledge a relationship as a season. It is ok to close a chapter. It is ok to free yourself and your partner from a commitment that is no longer honoring or enhancing each other. It is ok to end the misery and choose a path that gives you both the opportunity to pursue the life calling you were put on this planet to pursue.
What honors you, honors everyone. Always. It is the TRUEST LOVE. <3