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You Cannot LOVE Yourself and BETRAY Yourself at the Same Time.

Updated: Dec 21, 2021

“But the majority of the time he’s good to me.”

“It’s only a small portion of time that he yells and breaks things.”

“He only calls me names when he is drunk.”

“I’m just too sensitive and need to have a thicker skin.”

“We have some bad moments but he’s also really loving.”

We have gotten so good at justifying our own mistreatment.

But what amount of disrespect is acceptable?

What percentage of your relationship is allowed to be “bad”?

How many names are you allowed to be called?

How many times is too many times to threaten divorce?

What is the limit of holes in the wall?

How miserable is too miserable?

The truth is we are not victimized by others’ bad behavior as much as we are victimized by our own low standards.

We will ALWAYS get what we are willing to settle for.

We will take as many holes in the wall as we are willing to put up with.

We will be demeaned as harshly as we are willing to tolerate.

We will accept as many threats as we will entertain.

We will be as lonely as we decide we can suffer through.

We will take as much disrespect as we will accommodate ourselves to.

We will be as miserable as we will justify.

The TRUTH is we cannot LOVE ourselves and BETRAY ourselves at the same time.

So, if we decide to tolerate disrespect and misery… just a “little” and just for a “short time”, we are deciding it’s ok to betray ourselves “just a little bit”.


You deserve to be loved and cherished and respected ALL the time. Outrageous? Only if you decide it is. Unrealistic? Only if you are never willing to let go of everything blocking you from having the honoring relationships you crave.

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