Jillian Aurora
Sep 18, 20202 min
Updated: Dec 21, 2021
I witness a lot of women waiting for permission to take action.
Educational decisions.
Career decisions.
Business decisions.
Reproductive decisions.
Financial decisions.
Clothing decisions.
Hair style decisions.
Health decisions.
Etc. Etc. Etc.
And, I used to be the same way. I thought EVERYTHING was a team decision. I thought all of MY business was HIS business. I thought all of MY time was HIS time. I thought all of MY resources were HIS resources.
So, I would wait. For everything. I needed approval. I needed permission. And it was SUPER easy to self righteously justify.
What I did not realize was I was asking permission for ALL the wrong things.
I was assuming my husband was ENTITLED to access my time, attention, labor, resources, and body. It was his RIGHT, because we were a couple. I allowed him to HIJACK my own ability to make decisions, because I thought that was the way it was SUPPOSED to be. I thought that was what I needed to do to be a GOOD partner.
Today, I ask permission VERY differently.
Being a good partner does NOT mean giving up my ability to make independent decisions. On the contrary, my own strength and sovereignty is an ASSET.
I ask ZERO permission to access, use, or make changes to MY OWN:
TIME
ATTENTION
LABOR
RESOURCES
BODY
PRIVACY
Everyone ELSE gets to ask ME permission to access any of these things and I don’t have to have any justification to say NO.
AND
I get to ask permission to access ANYONE ELSE’S
TIME
ATTENTION
LABOR
RESOURCES
BODY
PRIVACY
Previously, I had my wires crossed. I would assume I DID NOT have a right to my OWN self but I would often assume I was entitled to access others’ as I pleased.
Today, I honor my own sovereignty.
I honor others’ sovereignty.
What honors me, honors everyone. Always.
Where are you allowing your own sovereignty to be hijacked? Where are you asking permission to use resources that you already have the right to? Where are you NOT asking permission to access someone else’s resources?