Mental Preparation for an International Move

When I look back on our move, the hardest part wasn’t the logistics—it was how much I underestimated the mental and emotional toll. I miscalculated time. My time-blindness made me overly optimistic about important deadlines, and I leaned too heavily on paperwork while other practical tasks were pushed to the back burner. Although I had a few, I still didn’t build enough back-up plans. And nothing—absolutely nothing—could have prepared us for the grief: the loss of our home, our pets, and the familiar culture that had shaped us.

I share this not to discourage, but to be honest. International relocation is more than documents and flights. It’s a breaking and remaking of the self. And if you’re preparing to take this step, tending your inner hearth is just as important as gathering your visa packet.

Here are a few ways to prepare yourself mentally for the journey ahead:

1. Name Your Why

Why are you moving? Safety? Opportunity? Adventure? A fresh start? Write it down. Say it out loud. Your “why” will become the anchor you hold onto when the paperwork feels endless or the culture shock hits harder than expected.

2. Expect the Messy Middle

The movies make it look easy: you step off the plane and a new life unfolds in soft lighting and slow motion. The truth? The first weeks or months can be exhausting. You may feel lonely, frustrated, or even regretful. That’s not failure—it’s part of transition. Naming this in advance helps you meet it with grace when it comes.

3. Keep Rituals from Home

You don’t have to leave everything behind. Whether it’s your morning coffee ritual, a favorite candle, or a playlist that feels like home, carry these small comforts. They remind you that you are still you, even in a new place.

4. Prepare for Goodbyes (and Guilt)

Leaving people behind can be the hardest part. There may be guilt—about aging parents, close friends, or a community that shaped you. Instead of trying to avoid these feelings, give them space. Create intentional goodbyes. Write letters. Set up regular calls. Remember: you can love people deeply and choose a different path.

5. Make Room for Awe

In the midst of stress, don’t forget the wonder. International relocation is a rare and courageous thing. Make space to notice the first time you walk through a local market, or the way a mountain looks at dusk. These moments will remind you why you took the leap.

6. Build a Gentle Timeline (and a Back-up Plan)

If I could go back, I’d build in more buffers. Bureaucracy, delays, and cultural differences can test your limits. Don’t count on every deadline aligning perfectly—assume that some will slip. And create back-up plans, because life will throw curveballs you can’t foresee.

7. Find Community Early

Whether through local meet-ups, expat groups, or online spaces, don’t wait until loneliness sets in. Begin building connections from the start. Even one or two trusted people can change the experience of a new country.

The HearthFinder Word of Wisdom:

Preparing for an international move isn’t just about the boxes you pack—it’s about the resilience you carry. Grief and loss will come alongside excitement and wonder. Deadlines may slip. Homes and loved ones and pets may be left behind. But your inner hearth—the practices, connections, and patience you cultivate—will carry you through.

Take time now to prepare not only your documents, but also your heart. The journey is big, but so is your capacity to carry it.