Boundaries and Guilt

"If you really loved me, you would be here for me.” “If you really loved me, you wouldn’t abandon me.” “If you really loved me, you would choose to spend the evening with me instead of with your friends.” “If you really loved me, you would see how much I am suffering and let me slide on rent a little.” “If you really loved me, you would spend your money to help me instead of spending, saving, or investing in yourself.” “If you really loved me, you would know I’m triggered by your (hobby, interest, work, passion, etc) and you would give it up for me.” “If you really loved me, you would stop inconveniencing me with your needs.” “If you really loved me, you would stop having these hard conversations with me because you know they trigger me.” GUILT TRIPPING. These statements are often the reactions we experience when we try to set boundaries. They are the stealthy bombs that test us to see if we will back down. They are the moment of truth - will you have your own back, or will you continue to allow me to use you? These are the buttons we have sticking out so far and so easily pushed and triggered. Often, we are unconscious of their very existence and we are OWNED by them, like puppets on a string. Guilt. Shame. Blame. If you’re tired of being railroaded - if you’re tired of trying to set boundaries and then wondering what happened, it’s time to unravel this pattern. www.facebook.com/groups/iamunapologetic