Updated: Nov 10, 2020
Sometimes, the things I feel inspired to write, PISS people off.
Over the last few weeks, my own desire to be liked and please everyone else has been confronted to the max. It’s been hard. It’s been really vulnerable. It’s been tough to look at old programming that still lingers, far beyond what has seemed reasonable.
It feels lonely not to be liked. It feels scary to be rejected and criticized.
My mind goes into an obsession mode that used to be familiar. Compulsions to justify and explain my position, rear into action, without my permission. Old trauma responses demand I cater and accommodate. Voices in my head suggest I might be too much. Too bold. Too confronting. Too triggering. Fears beg me to back up and back down. It’s just too uncomfortable.
And YET I’ll keep showing up. Because this is MY next level of mastery.
Commitment to me and my mission, EVEN IF
I walk alone.
I am rejected.
I am misunderstood.
I am disagreed with.
People get angry.
People dislike me.
Because I committed to be true to ME, no matter what.
I committed to have MY back, no matter who stood next to me.
I committed to never betray ME again.
I committed to choose ME, even when it disappoints someone else.
And as I walk this path, I model what I preach from my soul. I live it. I breathe it.