Updated: Nov 8, 2020
My dear men, listen up.
As conscious and awake men, you’ve asked how you can support women as they come into their own power. You’ve asked how you can honor women and give space for their long awaited rise from oppression. You’ve asked how to be a complimentary and empowering partner.
There are some old oppressive masculine shadows that get to change. Indeed there are. We are all being welcomed to level up.
If you are genuine about supporting a space for your woman to shine, then here are my thoughts. Here are actions to practice, not just noise about being supportive.
- Acknowledge a woman’s intelligence through inviting her opinions and recognizing them as equally valid as your own.
- Treat women as co-creating partners instead of subjectives through equal decision-making. Finances. Jobs. Kids. ALL of it.
- Recognize and encourage a woman’s power to make decisions about her own life and her own body. Respect her “no”. Accept that “no” is a valid answer. Respect her “yes’s” even when they weren’t your idea.
- Don’t justify your violent words or actions by how a woman behaved first. Not what she said. Not what she was wearing or not wearing. Not how she looked at you. Not her attitude. Take full responsibility for your own actions.
- Acknowledge a woman’s needs as just as valid as yours. Rest. Pleasure. Validation. Interests. Hobbies. Work. Power.
- Value DISagreement. Protect the sacred space where it is safe to share honestly, even if you disagree.
- Play fair. Don’t make requests or set standards you aren’t willing to follow yourself. NO double standards. Ever.
- Avoid patronizing comments that are often felt as demeaning. If you wouldn’t like a random person to tell you “good job” at the gym or after completing a basic task, don’t say it to a woman.
- Avoid belittling a woman’s interests or work. Words like “cute” and “adorable” mean very different things than empowering words like “admire”, and “talent”, and “awe”, and “respect”, and “skill”. Check your intentions.
- Drop any entitlements of a woman’s time, attention, labor, or body. Even if you’re in a relationship. Even if you are married. All of her resources get to be ASKED FOR and agreed upon. Not assumed.
- See a woman for ALL of what she is, not just as a sexual object or possession. Acknowledge her for who she IS - her heart, her spirit, her intelligence, her interests, her thoughts, her feelings - way before showing interest in her looks. STOP the empty “you’re so beautiful”, “hey gorgeous”, and “sexyyyy” comments to strangers and begin complimenting meaningful elements of a woman’s being, actions, or personality.
- Acknowledge a woman’s power and skill, even when it surpasses your own. It’s not about competition. It’s about recognition of each person’s individual and unique gifts. When you feel threatened by a woman’s expansion, you will unconsciously (or consciously) try to suppress and limit her. Do your own work and address your insecurities.
- Recognize a woman’s value as much more than simply as a good partner. See her as a whole being with interests, successes, impact, and power in this world, in addition to her home life.
If you are savvy, you will see that each of these actions and consciousness is nothing exceptional. It’s really the basic way to treat ALL humans. It’s just that, for so long, it has been acceptable to treat women less than this, and we as women have allowed it to be.
We, as the Divine Feminine, want nothing more than to be acknowledged for our equal humanity. We are very different than you, with our unique talents and gifts, but we are equally valid, equally profound, and equally valuable. We desire to be recognized instead of dismissed. We desire to be your equal partners and the richness of the partnerships we are capable of as co-creators is breathtaking. Our light is dimmed and suppressed when we are controlled and belittled and dismissed. In this energy, we are dishonored and incapable of being the powerful Divine goddess, that is our true nature.
By honoring us, the Divine Feminine, you honor yourselves. By holding a space for us to be fully in our power, you invite in the most profoundly beautiful union.
Despite what you have been told, women want respect every bit as much as love. You cannot have love without respect. So honor her. Respect her. And you will be in awe of the abundance of life she will bring to your experience.
What honors you, honors everyone.
And, WHAT HONORS EVERYONE, HONORS YOU.
We all get to level up and hold a higher level of honor. We get to shed old oppressive and abusive programming.