Updated: Nov 9, 2020
“You’re so beautiful.”
“You have the most beautiful eyes.”
“I love your body.”
These comments make my skin crawl and my stomach turn.
Every woman likes to be told she’s beautiful, right?
This is sacred territory, friends.
I love to be told I am beautiful… by people who know and love me for ALL of me. People who admire my passion, intelligence, ideas, and values. Looks? They are just icing on the cake. Definitely not my substance.
There are some very old suppressive gender ideas out there that continue to harm women. This is one of them. If you are a man, please, choose to see women for ALL of who they are. They are SO much more than their looks and it is insulting to be acknowledged for nothing more than our appearances. Discover the gold WITHIN a woman, LONG before commenting on her outward appearance.
Compliment her on the beauty of her heart.
Compliment her on the intelligence of her mind.
Compliment her on the resiliency of her spirit.
If you message me a compliment about my looks and we don’t know each other, I will remind you to acknowledge who a woman IS as a human being, before EVER commenting on her appearance. Then, if you cannot respect this BASIC value, you will be unfriended and/or blocked.
Women, I encourage you to honor this same boundary. We ALL deserve to be acknowledged for who we are as HUMANS, way before our outward beauty is allowed to voiced. This is not a wish. This is what is REQUIRED to be in my space.
Yes, I love to be told I am beautiful.
By people who intimately know me and honor me.
If you can’t claim that territory, save your comments for someone else. I promise you, there is another woman in your world who would value that compliment far more than a stranger.