You NEVER deserved to be abused.

Updated: Dec 31

“I deserved it.” “If I wouldn’t have mouthed off like that, I wouldn’t have gotten hurt.” “If I would have just agreed, he wouldn’t have gotten so angry.” “If I wouldn’t have been so passive, he wouldn’t have felt it was ok to touch me like that.” “If I had covered myself better, he wouldn’t have been so tempted to do the wrong thing.” “If I had been a good enough wife, he wouldn’t have drank.” “If my love had been enough, he wouldn’t have chosen drugs over me.” “If I had not been so inconvenient…” “If I had been a better helper…” “If I had been more considerate…” If I hadn’t have been such a handful…” “If I had had a better attitude…” “If I had prayed more…” “If I had BEEN BETTER…” “If I had DONE BETTER…” “These are just the consequences of my actions.” “These are just the consequences of not being good enough.” I have heard versions of all of this, over, and over, and OVER again. We often find ways to justify our own abuse and mistreatment. Physical abuse, sexual abuse, verbal abuse, emotional rage, manipulation, cohersion, and every kind of violence is often twisted with some justification about how YOU were the ACTUAL problem in the first place. Whether you experienced your abuse from a parent, a partner, a stranger, a church member, a family member - you NEVER deserved it. Never ever. Part of your healing is not MINIMIZING what happened to you. Part of your healing