Updated: Nov 9, 2020
This is the voice I name who tells me things like:
“You’ll never be good enough.”
“You don’t have time to take care of yourself.”
“You can’t do that - you aren’t ready.”
“You don’t have enough money for that.”
“Who do you think you ARE?”
“That’s just not REALISTIC.”
“It’s just not FAIR.”
“You ALWAYS get the short end of the stick.”
“You’re BROKEN and you can’t trust yourself.”
“You can’t just go making decisions on your own. You need to ask permission.”
“If people really knew you, no one would love you.”
“You’re not allowed to do that.”
“People always hurt you.”
“You HAVE to tolerate because you have NO OTHER WAY.”
My whiny bitch voice has always been mirrored in my external relationships.
Whatever level of abuse I was willing to tolerate from my whiny bitch voice, was the same level of abuse I was tolerating in audible voices around me. I allowed many people in my space who reminded me to “know my place”, to “be realistic”, to “not get ahead of myself”, to “accept the cards I was dealt”, to “ask permission”, and to “tolerate” because that was simply all you expect in life.
For many years of my life, I OBEYED the whiny bitch voice. I was a BITCH to my whiny bitch voice and to MANY external voices echoing her.
In order to free myself from both the oppression of my internal relationship with my whiny bitch voice and my eternal relationships, I had to awaken my BADASS WARRIOR. When my Warrior was activated, I was simply unavailable for the whims of the whiny bitch. My Warrior was resilient enough to experience the voices and simply respond with “Thanks for sharing. This is what I have decided to do and I am unavailable to be persuaded otherwise.”
My whiny bitch voice never went away and I don’t need to banish her. She is part of me and brings up all the triggers and fears and heartache she wants to avoid so badly. It’s not in fighting her that empowers me - it’s in acknowledging her voice, facing her fears/protests/limitations - and then DOING IT ANYWAY. She gets to be acknowledged, but not OBEYED. She gets to be loved on, but she does not get the STEERING WHEEL.
This mirrors the way the awakened Warrior governs my external relationships as well. Protests, “friendly reminders”, and low-blow comments to “respect my place”, still happen online and in person. My Warrior activates, and, just like the response to the whiny bitch voice, I get to say “Thanks for sharing. This is what I have decided to do and I am unavailable to be persuaded otherwise.”
In my own sassy way, my Warrior gives me full permission to tell anyone who attempts to limit my expansion or Divine path to kindly fuck off, whether that voice comes from within or from without.
Where have you been a bitch to your whiny bitch voice? Where have you allowed your compassion and acknowledgement of her to become obedience and submission? How are your external relationships mirroring your relationship with your inner whiny bitch voice?